The beauty process can sometimes feel like one big game. You take the chance, spin the wheel and watch the ball roll in a hypnotising expectation until it rests in the number pocket one space away from your expectation. And the result of this rather convoluted metaphor? A face patchier than Charlie Sheen’s criminal record and the kind of fashion knowhow reserved for the clueless.
With so many choices on offer in the fashion world, there’s little telling what will or won’t make it through the net. Catwalk shows are the equivalent to throwing everything at a wall and seeing what stick. Why do you think there are so many bizarre concoctions at Paris, London and Milan during their respective fashion weeks?
Lampshades on kneecaps, ballerina outfits turned inside out, burnt parkas with holes cut in them – there’s no end to the madness of fashion week. Every designer is just hedging their bets like the rest of us.
But the truth of the matter is that looking great isn’t a gamble. With a few basic beauty tips and well-measured fashion choices, you can transcend fashion trends and style faux pas.
So what would we recommend?
The plasma effect
When you’ve got the diet of Johnny Vegas, you’ll inevitably have the double chin to match. And no style guide would be complete without a tip on how to make it disappear.
Indeed, there’s a reason why you’ll never see a Johnny Vegas type modelling the latest Karl Lagerfeld collection. Whether you like it or not, the chub-heavy look isn’t stylish.
If you’re trying to get rid of that double chin, use cold plasma subd that will tighten up the chub under your mouth, keeping it in check for long enough to make vital changes to your diet. It’s the perfect guarantee that your eating habits won’t ruin your style.
A classic touch
What do Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Hepburn and Twiggy have in common? Answer: they represent a small subsection of people who have managed to make their fashion tastes entirely timeless.
The secret to their style? A concerted effort for understated glamour.
Despite style looking effortless in the 50s and 60s, it’s a fashion aesthetic that’s as precise as keyhole surgery.
For true minimalist look, combine sleek whites and blacks with splashes of primary colours. Whether you’re at a swish cocktail party or a dark and cavernous nightclub, you’ll look like the most glamorous person in the room.
Let’s consider Vivienne Westwood, a woman whose fashion collections have poured from her mind in all their beautiful, glorious madness. DIY is her aesthetic – so why not take a leaf from her book?
Create your own designs, no matter how shabby they are to begin with. Your talents will increase in increments, until you’ve hit upon your own fantastic fashion sense.
After all, what is style except a perfect expression of personality?